With time on my hands...

...I learned to travel back in time. (So I've checked that one off my list, too.) I tried to use my time traveling power to go back in time and tell myself not to shave my beard off. But the flash that accompanied the space/time fold temporarily blinded me.

So I accidentally stepped in the toilet.

Defeated, and since my past-self didn't notice, I went back to my own time without saying a thing. So I'm back, humiliated and with a soggy foot.